I love you and I feel that we’re for each other.
However you are NOT the person you need to be in order to pursue a serious relationship with me. I am freaking awesome and I deserve way more. You’re awesome too. But ehh….you need to work harder. Because I worked relentlessly hard for you. Believe it or not, I did. Until the very end, I did.
When and IF you get it together, in addition to building our relationship in The Lord, only then can we truly have something worth having.
No excuses no exceptions.
Whether you submit to the terms of conditions or not is totally up to you. I know I’m a good one. Ultimately, it’ll be your loss and my gain if you don’t though.
And with that I close that chapter. Whew.
Evening service today was literally amazing. Pastor Grant decided to make it an intense Prayer Session instead and I’m so grateful for this. I prayed until my stomach began to tighten and my voice and words started to fail me but even still I continued to pray. I left church feeling like I was filled with the spirit.
And to think I was so sluggish at the idea of going this evening. Praise God. I am so happy.
I don’t believe in denying yourself of the one you long for. I think that if your heart yearns for someone, you call or text them and say exactly that. I don’t believe in waiting to see who cares more through the sign of a text message. But then again maybe that’s why I’ve been so unsuccessful with this thing. I’ve been too open, too vulnerable. I’m not playing the game right. I don’t make them beg so they don’t realize how much of a big deal I am. It’s just not in my nature. I see you, I like you, I love you, you become so precious to me I couldn’t dream of hurting you. Why isn’t it that easy. Why does loving someone not make it easy?
To my friends: I want to apologise for those times when I said I would pray for you and I didn’t. The times that you asked to have coffee, and I was too ‘busy’. The moments that I could’ve asked you how you were doing; but I didn’t because I was afraid of your answer. When I wasn’t the friend that you needed me to be.
To my family: I’m sorry for the times I yelled back at you in anger, when you were doing the best you could. For the moments when I didn’t give you a chance to explain, when I brushed off your expressions of love for me. I’m sorry for not taking the time to try to answer your questions about this God that I know.
To my acquaintances and the people I pass on the street: I’m sorry for turning away, for rushing past and trying not to see your brokenness. I’m sorry for the stares, and the judgements I formed, even though we’ve never met.
I’m sorry for the times when I’ve said, verbally or not; ‘I’m Christian’ but I haven’t acted that way. I’m sorry for not loving, forgiving, and serving you the way that He does me.
I’m just like you, a sinner, with struggles and faults, I’m sorry for ever holding myself above.
His grace and mercy are the only reasons I’m still here, asking for your forgiveness, saying that I’m a sinner and I’m starting fresh, trying each day, not to say that ‘I’m Christian’, but to love, serve and forgive like Christ has done to me."
- An apology letter. (via brydeewrites)
What kind of Mother makes the conscious decision to kill her own child and then does it….